Pick up lines are really nothing more than attempts to get your attention.
Maryanne Williamson says all communication s really nothing more than: “I love You” or “I want you to love Me”.
That desire for capturing another’s attention transcends age, gender and species. I have had men, women, children and even dogs get involved in the communication process.
None was more endearing than the four year old girl I met on a hospice visit. Kati’s mom was the patient—a tragedy of beauty and courage terminally ill and leaving too soon. In my capacity as a hospice chaplain, I was meeting with Kati’s grandma to assess the family’s spiritual needs.
As she and I talked about deep and painful issues, Kati squirmed on Grandma’s lap, made several attempts to join the conversation and finally, in a grown-up voice for one so young, said, “Honey, honey, where do you live? Where are you from, honey?”
Our hospice team lovingly named her “she who cannot be ignored!” She got my attention!
I joke that dogs and small children adore me.
Kati is certainly one example of that and Harley Ray proves the point with regard to dogs.
My friend Valerie belongs to Miss Harley Ray, an articulate pure bread pit bull with one brown eye and one blue eye. During the time I cared for my dying mother, I visited Valerie at least once a month, during which she sat me in her magic reclining beauty chair and performed eyelash augmentation.
Often, this hour of pampering was the only break I took from the challenge of care giving. Harley was a fixture in the process and each session began when Harley presented her tennis ball for me to throw, before settling down to supervise the process.
She seemed to know if I had been having a difficult week and at the end of one such week, she unexpectedly, climbed right up into my lap like a teacup poodle and put her head on my shoulder with her cheek against mine and cuddled me like I was one of her “pack”. You can bet THAT got my attention!
Harley Ray didn’t need words to get my attention; she could pick me up with a silent spiritual arrow that always shot straight to my heart.
There have been men in my life like that, but more often than not, the silent connection was associated with heart-stopping eye contact.
Research shows that mothers and babies who are deeply bonded make eye contact longer and more frequently. This phenomenon also applies to couples.
Greg was wise beyond his years, when as freshmen; we sat opposite each other at a Broadcasting Class Banquet held at the college we attended. Throughout the entire dinner, we were separated by a 6 foot round table, other class mates and the din of their cross-talking conversation. We were too far apart to speak, but that didn’t stop Greg. He communicated eloquently during the entire dinner with intense eye-contact (I’ve seen actor, Robert Downey, Jr. do this on screen) and it won’t surprise anyone that I gave Greg my number that night and we began a year of experiments in deeper communication.
Some of the best pick up lines aren’t pick up lines at all, but sort of an emotional tourette’s; an explosion of emotional overwhelm that compels one to action.
I was the delighted recipient of such an event one Saturday morning as I cooked breakfast for my brother who was going fishing with a mutual friend; Johnny.
Up early and half awake, with no makeup on, I scrambled eggs and made toast. Johnny rang the door bell and let himself in with a hollered, “I’m here—let’s go”, as he followed the smell of bacon into the kitchen.
(It’s helpful to know that Johnny was ex-special forces, taught bomb demolition and was not prone to undisciplined outbursts, which makes what followed more memorable:)
Johnny often greeted me with a friendly hug, but today, as I carried the hot frying pan from stove to sink, he followed me, picked up my long tousled hair and slowly kissed me on the back of the neck, then whispered into my ear, “JeanneLauree, you’ve got the kind of hair that looks good spread out on a pillow!”
Another pick up line that wasn’t a pick up line, but still falls in the “emotional tourettes” category, took place at an annual retreat held by the company I worked for at the time. It wasn’t made to me, but about me and I heard about it later.
Self-conscious about the competitive nature of the business I was in and the egos of my
high-powered colleagues, I spent extra time on my grooming—higher heels, brighter lipstick and extra time fluffing my shoulder length hair into a volume big enough to support the night landing of an F-17 fighter jet.
I was set, and the efforts evidently did not go unnoticed. A friend later reported that as I stepped off the hotel shuttle, she over-heard the person next to her exclaim, “Sweet Jesus, who’s that blonde!”
Often the most cliché lines are rendered classic by the context.
I was presenting a workshop to 600 women in San Diego, Calif. As I prepared for the engagement which was to be presented the next day, several trips were required from parking lot to hotel room.
On each trip, I kept running into the same gorgeous, tall black man also using the elevator.
He already had my attention, and our conversation moved from, “which floor would you like?” to his invitation for a lunch date the next day.
After I had lunch with him, some of the women in my workshop saw us at lunch and cornered me before the afternoon session, “Do you know who that was you lunch with today? That is Kellen Winslow, Sr. He plays for the San Diego Chargers and is probably the best tight end ever!”
That’s what impressed them and got their attention.
What impressed me and got my attention was his involvement with the Christian Athletic Association and the fact that he shattered all of my stereotypes about “dumb jocks” when he started lunch by asking “What was the last good book you read?” And, then, he really listened to my answer.
My favorite pick up lines are classy and classic.
I was carrying the hat I was going to wear to a commencement ceremony in Wisconsin, while walking thru Chicago/O’Hare Airport, to my surprise, Jesse Jackson, Sr. walked up to me and started a memorable 10 minute conversation with this: “You don’t see a woman with a hat much these days, a beautiful woman with a hat like that must be going somewhere important, where are you going?” Loved it!
And finally, some of my favorite men began our friendships with attention-getting pick up lines, but followed up with years of sustained charm and lovely demonstrations of affection.
James, the cocky fighter pilot, stopped his car in a school parking lot, turned up the radio, pulled me out of my seat and said, “I’ve always wanted to dance with you to this song!” Another lovely night, he walked me to the door after a date, kissed me good night, and before leaving, declared, “Anyone who says, ‘a kiss is just a kiss’, has never kissed YOU!”
Chad has remembered my birthday every single year for over 25 years; from our first year as business associates, through the years we were friends and lovers and then friends again. Over the years, we shared the serendipity of a lunar eclipse, up-grades at a Rocky’s ballgame and writing together. He made it into ‘the best lines hall of fame’ when I asked him what I should wear when we were going out that night and he replied: “Darlin’, I wouldn’t begin to tell you what to wear, half the fun of being with you is being surprised by who you are when you show up for me!”
John took me riding elephants in Thailand, hiking the Blue Mountains in Sydney, Australia, and diving with sharks. It all started when we were on our first trip scuba diving on The Great Barrier Reef. I was a novice diver and he was a PADI certified “master diver”. When I expressed my concern about holding him back from experiencing the full benefits of diving on the reef, he responded by saying, “Today is all about you, JeanneLauree.” I loved how he said my name. My name is unusual and often mispronounced. John said it correctly from the beginning and when I commented on the fact, he unselfconsciously told me, “I practiced saying it right.”
Steve, the massage therapist has a wonderful way with words. After being apart for several years, I booked a massage with him. As he worked on me he commented, “I’ve missed that tattoo.”
Another time, he sent me a clipping from a magazine perfume ad showing a man and woman in a familiar embrace that he said reminded him of me. I emailed him to say his note left me breathless and he countered only with: “That’s my favorite way to leave you!”
Over the years, of my long life, I have had the most wonderful, charming, articulate and intelligent men in my life.
Thank you and Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.
I’m so glad you said what you said that got my attention, made me stop and open my heart
JLO 
Look don’t you love this farm picture? It is one of favorite locations just outside Park City, Utah
